Rabu, 19 Oktober 2011

I Quit

oh my oh my oh my..

Its been 5 years of hard work, especially just sitting in the tiny cubicle, wondering how or what or when the next project be; and will it effect my 'vitamin B'.

Then it happens, I feels like the whole universe telling me to stop, and reconsider the path i'm choosing. My baby getting older, and started to hit people, just to see what reaction he'll get; my mom sick; and the ultimate, my husband ask me to quit.

Living in my parent house, is not good for our mind. They're nice, but sometime, they forget that we're adult, who capable of making decision. My mom went through some kind of depression, and it get worse after some paranormal consultation (ever heard of 'kua mia'?).

My baby starting to understand words and action-reaction. The maid always smile even when he hit her; so he's starting to hit to make other people smile. The day i found out about this, i realize he's getting smarter, and i doubt that nanny & maid can educate him right.

We have our own house. But, we don't want to leave our son just with maid and nanny. I'm considering day care, but still, i work quite far away from home. when will my baby see me? only at night?

So, I quit my job.

Now.. things don't fall into places yet. There's a lot of thing to worry about, the housework, our finance, my sanity (well, taking care a toddler is a lot of work), our bills, bills and bills.

It's a miracle if we can survive 2012 smoothly. But boy, I really hope so.

now i just need to repeat psalm 23 in my head, over and over;

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.


Jumat, 25 Februari 2011

Love what you do

Some people is do their jobs just to get paid. I guess I'm just one of them.

Many success stories of life-changing are coming from a complete stranger. To be truth, until now, the only person I remember being brave enough to leave the job and be an enterprenuer is my pre-marital mentor, whom I've lost contact with.

Reading others success story, always makes me wonder, when I will have one? Or, will I ever have one?

For years, I still looking for what I love to do. And keep wondering, if I do what I love, will I still be able to love that, should I do that for years? What if I had no talent in what I love, what if, my talent and my interest is not the same thing?

I'm afraid to die. Because I'm afraid the angels would tell me something like "you don't use your talent, If you do *this job* you will be excel in what you do, too bad you don't even try it."

Even if reading those article feels like I'm torturing myself, I still love to read inspirational stories, just to get the feeling that someone out there, live their dream, love their jobs. And maybe, hopefully, my days will come too..

Here's one Steve Jobs story:

And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle. ~Steve Jobs