Sabtu, 30 Oktober 2010

Be My Self

I wish this life had game rules so I know how to play it right.

When I was young, I'm passive, patient, and invisible. I felt like no one take me seriously back then.
So I slowly learnt how to be tougher, skeptical, and build a fighter version of me. Making a wall, so I couldn't get hurt easily. It didn't seem to work either, coz it drive people away from me.
Then I tried to be in between, which is not only making it worse, but also making me questioning who I really am.

I'm a twenty-something mother, who still need a self actualization - or whatever the term is.

I think no matter how tough I wanna be, there's still a part of me, who always questioning every step I make, a super-melancholy me, who always see the world from a grey eyeglasses.
How am I suppose to live this life? How can I touch other people live? How can I meet someone who can touch mine, who make me decide who I want to be?
They always say "be your self"; And all I wanna do is shout "which one?".